Wolf has a case for Jethro. Sparky is currently in the cells on a very serious arson charge – and Jethro will get him off.

Jethro can’t win unless a witness can prove Sparky was otherwise engaged and therefore unable to have set the fire. Sparky’s face lights up. His friend was with him. Tinkerbelle. Yes, Tinkerbelle the fairy.

Van gets cornered by Wolf who needs Sparky on the outside. Van reluctantly agrees to take the stand as the witness to Sparky’s whereabouts on the night in question. Whatever Wolf is cooking up it must be big. Really big.

Jethro, these leaf blowers are the devil’s work.Sparky

In court, Jethro is cross-examining Judd – the arresting officer. Meanwhile, in the Hi Ace, Van is really feeling the pressure. Munter sagely suggests he relax with one of Mum’s special cookies.

Jethro proudly calls his next witness: Van ‘Tinkerbelle’ West. Jethro leads Van through his evidence. It starts out promisingly enough, but the longer they go on, the more Van’s state becomes increasingly worrisome. Desperate, Jethro calls for a recess.

In the court toilets, Jethro realises his brother is stoned – at which point the obvious (but highly risky) occurs to Jethro… he demands they swap clothes.

It’s lucky the prosecutor is such an obnoxious arse. He annoys the judge enough to throw the case out due to lack of evidence.

At the house, Wolf is very pleased with Jethro. Wolf He can see a role for Jethro in this job. What’s the job? All Wolf will say is that when the time is right he’ll let Jethro know.

A letter arrives at the West house. A person wearing Hoochie Mama crotchless panties has suffered severe injury. But how is this possible? It’s possible when the said wearer was a man whose testicle became distended/twisted/strangled when caught up in the garment, leading to much pain and suffering.

The letter writer threatens legal action. But Tracy refuses to be alarmed. Ignore it – it’ll go away.

Cheryl is not convinced. She asks Jethro to write a letter back to the complainant to make the case go away. But Jethro’s swamped and when Tracy drops by his office and offers to finish the letter, he takes up her offer.

The next day there is a knock at the door. Cheryl is confronted by a very angry man by the name of Malcolm Canning. This is panty guy! Infuriated by Cheryl’s apparent lack of sympathy to his predicament, he storms out leaving behind Tracy’s letter.

Cheryl quickly ascertains that Tracy was the letter-writer and says that from now on she will deal directly with this matter.

A new day and Cheryl is having a sit down with Malcolm – which involves for Malcolm several rubber rings and an icepack. His excessive demands enrage Cheryl and she lets him have it in true Cheryl style. It’s decided that Tracy can take back the reigns on this one. And Tracy chooses to give him what he wants…

Someone to pay attention! The girls unite for a piece in the NZ Women’s Weekly. Malcolm is pleased with the responsible attitude finally taken by Hoochie Mama and is taken with their new line of ‘man-panties’. He’s thrilled to the point of tears.

Now it’s time for Pascalle to get what she wants, to go the next level. She makes it clear: she’s going to get married to Hayden.

Pascalle enters Hayden’s office with a basket of fresh home baking for her hard working boyfriend; at dinner Pascalle is trying her hardest to impress; and in bed she drops subtle hints…

Pascalle reckons Hayden has given her all the signs – he loves my cooking; he agrees my room is too small; he wants me to give up modelling and I make him horny as hell. So what more do I need? But, asks Loretta, do you have anything in common?

Pascalle turns up at Hayden’s office again. This time, in addition to muffins she bears two tickets to the Waikaraka Park Stock Cars. Hayden hates the stock cars. Wow, how perfect! So does Pascalle! They do have something in common after all.

New Zealand can’t get enough of the West family.

New Zealand’s best drama, OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE, has made a triumphant return to Kiwi screens (Tuesdays at 9.30pm on TV3).

The show is cleaning up in the ratings with more Kiwis tuning in week-by-week to catch the action.

For those who missed out on the first series, don’t forget you can buy all 13 episodes on DVD from all good retailers!

A big event in the West household: Loretta is about to turn 16. She can now legally leave school…but not if her parents have their way. Both Wolf and Cheryl insist that Loretta must stay in school.

Cheryl worries about Loretta: so smart, but so secretive and not like a normal teenager. She doesn’t go out and she doesn’t have any friends.

And with this yard, we give you the luck of the Wests.Grandpa

Pascalle is no longer interested in the Video Hut. Loretta despairs, faced with school, when Pascalle suggests she should just do like the rest of the family – get herself expelled.

At Shadbolt High, Loretta makes determined and strategic attempts to behave badly. But her first effort is deemed a prank, her second just gets a warning. The third just earns her a one-day suspension. What does a girl have to do?

Loretta at last dishes out the dirt in the form of incriminating leaflets, at last persuading Ms Darling to expel her.

Cheryl is furious. She goes to the pub, unhappy and hoping for a little support from Kasey and Rochelle. Why is Loretta so difficult and anti-social? Because she’s gay! Or so the girls speculate.

Loretta, cheery after her expulsion, happily kicks out the grungy delinquent Jools who’s been hanging about the Video Hut.

Cheryl decides to spend some time with Loretta. Shopping. Loretta’s resistance to such traditional girlish joys only increases Cheryl’s suspicions about her daughter’s sexuality.

At home, Wolf has news, excellent news… He’s contacted a school, a private school, which is willing to take Loretta – St Mary Ignatius. If she won’t go – there’s always the Wairarapa. He’s called Auntie Jeanette, Cheryl’s sister. Loretta is appalled… Auntie Jeanette is Closed Brethren and lives on a rural compound with the six cousins and psychotic Uncle Kees. It’ll mean bible study, barn raising, bread and water.

Loretta goes to the Video Hut and surveys the wreckage of her intended life – to find Jools there yet again. Loretta has the beginning of a brilliant idea…

She agrees to enroll at St Mary Ignatius.

At Loretta’s party, Jools arrives looking quite a lot like Loretta. Seeing Loretta and her new friend so close in their matching T-shirts and jeans does not reassure Cheryl, but Kasey and Rochelle think she’s handling Loretta’s ‘coming out’ reasonably well.

On Monday, Cheryl drops Loretta at school, but as soon as she’s out of sight of Cheryl, another girl steps out from the bushes, dressed in an identical uniform, with an identical school bag. It’s Jools who’s starting her first day at her new school as ‘Loretta West’.

At the Rusty Nail, Munter returns with a jug, as Van is onto something big, very big.

Van and Munter find the truck rumoured to hold the goods…heaps of crays. What a score! Van feels like he can get back in the good books with Wolf and proudly offers to cut his Dad in on this deal.

So Van and Munter set about selling their wares.

But the refrigerated truck is no longer cold – so they approach Eric to borrow some freezers. Once they start unloading the goods, Van panics. Chest freezers, man.

Van flashes back to oxygen deprivation at eight years of age when he was stuck in a similar sort of freezer. With sage Munter’s guidance, Van succeeds.

The freezers aren’t all that icy…well that’s because they’re modern freezers, you know, frost free. Doesn’t seem to hurt business…so far.

Eventually, there’s only one box left – just the right amount for Loretta’s party…

And it’s at the party that Van and Munter’s cellphones start to ring. And they keep on ringing… They have a number of unhappy customers. Ooops. Thanks for the freezers, Eric.