31 October

Episode 9

I was talking to Mum today – well, someone has to and it sure as shit isn’t going to be Grandpa, who is filthy beyond belief with her over the whole Judd/rooting thing. We all still are, actually, but Grandpa is the master at being dirty on someone for the longest time.

So, anyway, I was talking to Mum and she said this weird thing about how she’d know if Dad was dead. Like, if he was, some celestial choir would sing it to her – or she’d see this vision like out of Mataku – or something equally totally illogical. I mean, you don’t just know if someone is dead. That makes no sense.

Like, I know Dad sometimes takes off for a while – it’s part of his job. So the chances are he’s alive and in hiding. But I also know that there are probably some pissed off people somewhere who might want to kill him – and if they’ve found him he might be dead. But I have no way of knowing either way, is the point I’m making here.

At least I’m not going completely insane over the whole Dad thing like Pascalle – who spent days traipsing around the bush with Eric and Munter, looking for him. Talk about the blonde leading the blind.

On the upside, we get to keep Aurora because the mighty Horseman dickhead guy who used to be her boyfriend turned out to be a Pussy-man who blubbed and then only smacked Van once for stealing his woman. What is wrong with the men of today when even the lowest of lowlifes turns out to be all sensitive? Shit, I should start a gang of my own to take on these wimps.

But we get to keep Aurora and her amazing cooking and cleaning skills. She reckons after looking after 20 gang guys, the West family are a piece of piss. Hope she doesn’t change her mind when she sees what state Van leaves the loo in the morning after he’s been in a Who Can Eat Hottest Curry competition with Munter. If she still thinks we’re okay after that, then I think we’ve made a new friend for life.

When Dad comes home, he’ll think she’s choice too, I bet.

If he comes home, I mean.

31 October

The indifferent children of the earth

It’s the ‘opening’ of Hoochie Mama’s very own unit – Unit 8, Riesling Court. They now have premises and a distribution hub and overheads and actual staff and, oh yeah, responsibilities…

Cheryl gives a speech as Tracy, Kasey, Rochelle listen proudly, while Cheryl’s family and the usual hangers-on – Pascalle, Loretta, Grandpa, Eric and Munter wait to return to the food and free piss.

Wolf is not some saint in heaven. He’s a crim who did a runner.Cheryl

Judd arrives.

At home, Cheryl discovers malcontent. In her absence (she’s been sleeping at Judd’s), although Aurora has been doing the cooking and cleaning, they have no money for groceries. Cheryl goes on the defensive, and Aurora tries to change the topic – Loretta won second place in a swimming competition.

Alarm bells. Loretta looks for a distraction in the mail. A letter from the Inland Revenue Department? Hoochie Mama is being audited! Amid this news the phone rings. Pascalle has just been arrested for shoplifting.

At Hoochie Mama HQ, Cheryl assures the girls that she and Tracy will deal with the IRD – but she is going to have to make sure everything is in order. Where have those boxes of Hoochie Mama undies gone? Uh oh, Kasey was so pissed she forgot to lock up after the opening. Suspicion immediately falls on the West family.

At the West house, Cheryl, with Tracy hovering in the background, has lined up her family (and their associates). She’s is trying to phrase it as nicely as possible – would anyone happen to know where the boxes of knickers went? What she gets in return is indignation that she is accusing them of stealing – how could she!!?? Her own family!! She searches the suspects’ rooms despite floods of indignation.

At the Rusty Nail, Cheryl gives in to self doubt. It’s is all because she’s a bad mother. She hasn’t been there for Pascalle or any of the family and things are falling apart. Tracy lets Cheryl get this out of her system before telling her to stop it with the self-flagellation and stop letting her family bleed her dry – what a novel idea!

Back at the West house, Cheryl lays it on the line– they’re going to start paying their way; respecting her wishes; and doing their fair share around the house. And last but not least – she wants her knickers back. If they aren’t returned, expect eviction.

At Jethro’s, Cheryl insists Pascalle plead guilty to shoplifting. Pascalle is not happy.

Aurora, who’s still playing housewife and doing the laundry at the West’s, discovers a pair of Hoochie Mama knickers in the pockets of a very stained pair of pants. Eric’s pants. Van and Munter are on the case. They find the boxes of underwear in his warehouse and make him return them.

At the Video Hut, Loretta has been engaged in quelling insurrection in the form of Jools, her permanent stand in at school. Jools has been making quite a splash on the swim team, making friends, and getting noticed. Altogether unacceptable behaviour. And Loretta is not one to take it lying down.

A well-placed call frees Loretta from the swim team. She ought to be at home as her family needs her. At Jools’ behest, the swimming coach nearly ruins the game with a call to Cheryl.

This means war. Loretta strikes. She has mysteriously acquired a case of crypto-spyridium and mustn’t be allowed in the pool. Jools retaliates. Her illness crept up in class. What if it flares up in an exam? Film schools require high marks…

Loretta reluctantly goes to Jethro for advice. Highly amused, he tells her that when one has reached a stalemate in these kinds of situations, the only thing left is to compromise.

The girls draw up a deal – Jools must stay out of the top three in swimming and out of the newsletter and in return she’ll get a new mattress and nights off from working at the Video Hut. Which is how Aurora comes to join the Hut’s staff.

Loretta’s world is intact. Just. For now.

  • Gutter Black

    (David McArtney)
    Southern Music Publ. Co. (A’Asia) Pty. Ltd

    Performed by Hello Sailor

    Licensed courtesy of Zodiac

24 October

To be, or not to be

Cheryl returns home to abuse from Pascalle and Grandpa. Wolf is dead because of her! Cheryl remains staunch. Get real. Wolf’s not dead.

Hickey arrives. The police have decided to downgrade any enquiry on Wolf’s disappearance because they have no further leads. Pascalle becomes apoplectic. Since no one else will do it, she will form a search party.

Cheryl seeks solace at the Rusty Nail, and runs into Judd. He knows things are difficult for her. And for a moment we see in flashback:

Dad’s out there hurt or injured or worse and you’re worrying about my feminine hygiene?Pascalle

Judd with Wolf at the warehouse after the robbery. Wolf asking Judd what he wants. Judd tells Wolf he wants one thing only – that Wolf gets out of his world. Permanently. Wolf’s laughter is cut off as Judd’s hands seize his throat. Is this a secret side of Judd?

Cheryl exits, promising to visit Judd. Only to be accosted by Jethro. Wolf said he’d be in touch – and the money hasn’t been touched. He can’t help but think that the reason is something to do with Judd. How far would he go, for her?

Cheryl arrives for the first time at Judd’s place. It is a shrine to hunting. He has trophies for shooting. And a gun collection. Cheryl is thrown by all this. Panicked, she bails.

Cheryl returns to her home of siege, to find Van wanting a word about Dad. Van blames Judd for giving stuff away after he confided in him. He tricked him into it by being too much of a nice guy! She must know what he’s like. Cheryl does. Kind of.

Pascalle arrives home after her search expedition. After running into Hickey, she has news: the cops have a new theory – love triangle gone wrong. Cheryl and Judd are prime suspects.

At a police interview room, Hickey is happy to see Cheryl. Jethro asserts she was home with witnesses on the night he disappeared. Hickey is interested – how does Jethro know what night Wolf disappeared? Jethro caught off guard, steers the conversation towards Judd. Cheryl reacts. How dare they speak this way about Judd!

Cheryl visits Judd again. We flashback to:

The warehouse again, Judd and Wolf. Wolf breaks the stranglehold as Judd threatens to make sure the gangs know where their money went if Wolf returns. Wolf walks away.

Judd knows she’s been feeling conflicted. But Cheryl’s not feeling that conflicted right now, and as proof she kisses him.

On the hike, Munter and Eric guilted into attendance, the party discovers something: a shallow grave. Pascalle fears the worst, but must know. She makes the boys dig.

They uncover small animal bones and a dog tag – Pascalle cries – for joy. It’s not him! If after all their searching they haven’t found him, he must still be alive!

Meanwhile, Van has been worrying for Aurora’s safety. They really should get her to Munter’s Mum’s place, in the Coromandel, like they keep meaning to.

There’s a knock on the door. It’s Tyson, looking for Cheryl. Maybe she might know something, and Van is looking familiar…

At the Rusty Nail, Van meets Munter. He needs the key to Munter’s mum’s place in the Coromandel. There’s a hitch. His mum has let it, and she’s got a really good deal on it.

The next day, Aurora and Van pack the car, ready to disappear somewhere, when Tyson appears.

Tyson storms the house, furious, but Aurora steps forward. She loves Van and wanted to leave. Instead of violence, weeping ensues – from Tyson. He accepts her choice, and before leaving punches Van. For closure Van has to admit that went better than expected. Aurora kisses his pain away.

  • Gutter Black

    (David McArtney)
    Southern Music Publ. Co. (A’Asia) Pty. Ltd

    Performed by Hello Sailor

    Licensed courtesy of Zodiac

24 October

Episode 8

I can hear Pascalle crying through the wall. This isn’t unusual. She cries a lot. She cried when Brad and Jennifer split up. She even cried when J Lo and Ben Affleck split up. I cried when I saw J Lo and Ben in Gigli – just before I ripped it out of the machine and threw it out the front door of the Video Hut.

The point is Pascalle cries about a lot and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what it is she’s crying about. Like now she might be crying because she’s just heard a rumour Britney and K-Fed have broken up. Or she might be crying because she and Hayden have broken up. (Pascalle and Hayden, that is – not Britney and Hayden. Or K-Fed and Hayden. Nah, they’d probably be perfect for each other, come to think of it.)

Or she might be crying ‘cause Mum just told us she’s been rooting a cop.

I don’t give a shit what people think about my family. We are the way we are. But the one thing we’ve always had going for us is we have certain rules. Sure, they’re not, like, the rules everyone else lives by – like laws and stuff like that – but they’re our rules and we’ve always stuck to them.

You get caught, you take your punishment like a man (or woman) – or you blame it on Van. You only lie when you can get away with it. You spend longer than ten minutes in the bathroom, you have no right to complain when another family member kicks the door in. Rule like that.

Our Big #1 Rule is: never talk to cops. Never tell them anything; never give up anything to a cop.

Guess Mum kinda broke that rule when she gave it all up to Judd, eh?

Guess this explains why Dad took off in such a hurry.

Pascalle is still crying. Shit, I’ll never get to sleep now.

23 October

2006 Qantas Television Awards

The finalists in the 2006 Qantas Television Awards have been announced and, once again, Outrageous Fortune has been nominated in the key drama categories.

The show, which has just been received NZ on Air funding for a third series (which will air on TV3 in 2007) was named Best NZ Drama at last year’s Qantas Television Awards and Best Drama Programme (single episode) and Best Drama Series at the 2006 Air NZ Screen Awards.

Outrageous Fortune is a finalist in the following categories:

  • Best Actor in a TV drama – Antony Starr (Episode 13)
  • Best Actress in a TV drama – Robyn Malcolm (Episode 13)
  • Best NZ drama – Episode 13
  • Best Script (Non-factual) – Rachel Lang/James Griffin (Episode 13)
Earlier News »