8 September

On tragedy, aka Aaron Spiller…

In amongst all the usual screaming and shouting and dealing to little slutty slapper wannabes that is life at Casa West, something happened this week that has got me thinking. Aaron Spiller suddenly morphed into John Cusack and proclaimed his love for Pascalle by making a dick out of himself on our front lawn, recreating (in his own tragic way) the scene in the Cameron Crowe film Say Anything where John makes a dick of himself over Ione Skye, by playing Peter Gabriel to her on his ghetto blaster to prove his love to her – and, presumably, to prove his willingness to make a dick of himself over a girl.

Now Aaron Spiller needs very little help in making a dick of himself at the best of times, but this was a special moment even by his standards. Yet, oddly, I found myself moved at Aaron’s futile gesture. And I started wondering about devotion.

Aaron must know, deep in his heart of hearts, that he will never get to plough Pascalle’s green fields. Surely he must realise that even Pascalle will never be drunk enough or desperate enough or psychologically fucked up enough to hook up with him. Even Aaron Spiller cannot be so stupid or deluded that he can’t see this simple fact, written in letters of fire a hundred metres high, right in front of his little ferret face.

Yet he still keeps trying. He still finds new and more desperate ways to shed what little dignity he has left, to try and prove to her how much he loves her; how devoted he is to her.

Devotion. I simply do not get it. Attraction I can just about do – but if that ends up going nowhere or if the guy turns out to be a bullshit poseur who prefers barely legal skanks to actual women, then give it up and move on. I realise that when you’re Aaron Spiller, that your opportunities for getting laid are very limited, but why keep knocking on the same door when there’s no way, without the aid of industrial quantities of Rohypnol, that that door is ever going to open for you?

But he keeps trying and, again in an odd way, I kind of admire that – and not just because it drives Pascalle psycho. Go my little lab rat! You keep trying you little fucked in the head ginga! You show the world than when you’re devoted enough you can never be too mental!

Mind you, as much as I’m in Aaron’s corner, cheering him on, I do hope I’m in the room when Aaron learns Pascalle is rooting a cop.

Big Fuck Off Smack in the Face 1 Devotion 0.