Ted/Grandpa is lively, difficult and knowledgeable. A canny bastard and nobody’s fool, he plays the odds and wins; except when love is involved.
Ted West is played by Frank Whitten.
Lisa — ur da bomb and the whole pissin on the cars thingi was like classic aye
pop — Good on you when i read this how did you managed to burn your house down?? and sorry to hear about rita.
kaidio_82 — hey grampa u ledgend getting married just 4 a root lol love ya gramps
Kelly — Hi Ted, I was wondering why you don’t have an accent like the rest of the crew?
lc29 — G’day Ted
from australia, love the show.
Ted, what ever happened to the loot you got from Jethro’s safe, way back in the show.??
Cheers from oz
David — grandpa your awesome you bring more light into the show got to love the old bastard
David — ted what happened about going to paris with that old police woman explain yourself please
leeann — G’day Ted,
Huge fans, my hubby and I are, but for the life of us we can’t seem to remember what is was that you got from the safe inJethro’s office when you burgled it, was way back early in the show.
Cheers from Oz
katrina — love ted! hes so funny, calling cheryl “slutty pants” and the way he’ll just start to piss him self laughing on the lounge….
henare — wakey wakey hands on snakey 😛
Taine and Shania Whitten — To. uncle frank .we stayed at nanas house last night and she let as watch you on t.v by taine & shania-whitten-young.
Emily — Ted is the best!
kylie — Grandpa your great you always make me laugh , u have your part down and out
Earschplitten Loudenboomer — A good idea for an O.R. script, perhaps?
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘”Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet..’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet..
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous..
‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’
Don’t Mess with Old People!!
jesse — u r the man ted
shane dolbel — outrageous fortune is the mean program me hole family have watched them all and wat wat a ending can wait 4 next series well done crew
Jacob — You were awsome your acting was fab
siouxsiebob — the best thing you done on the show is pissing on the pigs cops you the best old man
peter moore — this guy is the best he is bloody funny
paul harris — all i can say to you mr whitten..thank you very much. its about time we had such an iconic old coot like ted to make me piss myself laughing, you are truely a great new zealander, thank you for not being afraid of your character and the way kiwis really are.. well maybe not that much stuck out in public.. but screw em great job..long live grandpa
danielle — Grandpa!
Only the coolest one out there!
I wish you were related to me, your quite the party animai for an old fella!
Keep up the good work!
shania and taine — hi hi hi from shania and taine whitten young i like your show taine rote that
tim — im a born kiwi and i have to say that name u come up Cheryl and the cops is just funny as hell like the word ” slutty pants” and porker and bacon bits just make me cruck up every time keep up the good work old man
Aaron — Coolest character ever!
Callygurl — I wish u were my Grampa West, i know we would just get along. Love how close u are with Loretta
Chloe — Hi Mr. Frank Whitten
You are gorgeous little fella
David — R.I.P. out west cuz – love you always
Kelly — RIP Ted. You will be sadly missed 🙁 xo
Corrina — R.I.P grandpa West,
Jesse — Great actor, will be sadly missed.